You have to be aware of the fact that you may have to make sacrifices and changes [should be for the better] in order to better cope with your partner [not simply to PLEASE them].
You can't just rush into a relationship. You should give each other AT LEAST a month of talking to each other just so you can see the good and bad parts of them; the last thing you need is to enter a relationship and find out they have personal issues or that you two have irreconcilable differences.
Communication is a must! You've got to realize that without communication, your relationship is doomed to failure to the umpteenth degree. If you can't tell your partner when something's wrong, how are they supposed to know that something is wrong?
Trust must be there too. You can't be friends with someone you don't trust, so why DATE someone you don't trust?! On the note of trust, you have to be honest with each other...you've got to realize that once you lie, trust is SO hard to gain back, so DO NOT LIE.
Cheating, Lying, Fighting and all the Fcukery in Between
Cheating: Firstly, to those of you reading this that have cheated, I just need to express that I do NOT support cheating or cheaters and that there is NO excuse you can give me that will make your actions justifiable. It's THAT simple...What's the point of cheating? What do you feel AS your cheating? Do you feel anything AFTER you've cheated? Kudos to those that have the cahonas and moxie to tell their partners that they cheated...but to those that have their partners catch them in the act::: You're a liar AND a coward. I hate cheating with a passion. What if the side lover has an infection huh? Then you sex them up and bring back that disease to an INNOCENT person that was unsuspecting! Do cheaters even STOP to think about how their actions might play out or are they just too caught up in it all? Cheating gets you NOWHERE.
Lying: I don't hate a lot of character traits, but lying has to be the most disgusting thing. Even the little white lies like: "Girl you look cute" knowing good and damn well she doesn't even look right! I once read that It takes years to earn someones trust and a day to loose it, so you have to be conscious when you talk. You have to ask yourself "is this worth the trouble when they find out the truth later?" Mmm...and some people are EXTRA crafty! They don't lie...they just don't tell you everything. They give you half-truths. Like they went out with their boys and omit the fact that they were trying to book girls...while out with their boys. It's best to not lie, because the truth always finds a way out and you'll end up looking MIGHTY stupid when you're put out there for lying.
Fighting: The best thing about fights is reconciling, but you have to remember not to loose your cool. I can't express how many times I've seen a couple get into an argument over something petty and then air out each others dirty laundry and secrets. Words can be exchanged that you can never take back, feelings might get hurt, or someone might get hit. So the best thing to do when you two are fighting is to walk away and give each other time to cool off and then sit down and talk about the issue at hand.
Single and Lovin' It!: In the beginning stages of being single, you feel unstoppable/ You can flirt with whoever you want, go out on tons of dates, and not have to worry about any one else or anyone's feelings. You're doing what you want, when you want, and it is total bliss. Then when all that has been done to its extent, you begin to feel lonely...your friends can only be so much to you. I can't lie and say I don't miss the protection and comfort of being in a relationship, because from time to time I do.
You're Delusional...: I think the funniest people in the world are exes that can't take a clue...as in, the relationship is over but they're still holding on to the fragments of what's left as if that's going to make things any better! We've all had that one ex that just did not get the phrase "It's over". After a while, it takes a toll on both the dumper and the dumpee. The dumper can't seem to get another partner because the dumpee goes around saying they're still together and at times threatening people to stay away and the dumpee still thinks they're together and does not want to move on...We've all been on at least one end. It's never a good look though.
I love you...I love you not: The "L" word. People toss around the word love like they're playing a game of hot potato! In order to love someone you have to be put through vigorous tests. You've got to experience both their good side and bad side; you have to be able to trust them with your life. Anyone can say that they love you, but love is an emotion and if they can't show you how much they love you...10/10 says it isn't love. Sorry to break it to you honey. Also, if you're in love with someone every three weeks, you are delusional. There is NO WAY you can love someone in three weeks.
GET OFF ME!!!!: Clingy, clingy, clingy! If you are ALWAYS with your partner, there's a problem. If you can't remember life before your partner, there's an issue. If you can't cope in life without your partner, it's time for an intervention. Being clingy is never okay. It's basically smothering. You have got to take time to yourself! It's not okay to be with someone 24/7 when you just start dating, because then you'll get tired of each other very quickly. They say "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" which is SO true. Sometimes the distance or absence of someone makes you truly appreciate their presence.
Gimme the WORLD: It's funny how some people have found the PERFECT person for them, but then they get too comfortable with that and take it for granted; they begin to want MORE. You should be content with just being able to say you found someone that's there for you and not start complaining about how they didn't get you want you wanted for your birthday. CHILD PLEASE! People play too much. That's why I don't feel bad for people that chase someone that loves them away...it's like...they are doing everything right, but you want to knit-pick everything so that they can fit into YOUR description of perfection. Then when they leave you, they become the villain. That's being so ungrateful. If you've found someone that you feel completes you, hold on to them...
We've Got a Situation: There are so many people that have got situations out here. They could be the person you've dreamed about meeting, but they have some problems they need to resolve. Maybe a baby mama or something else...but the situation is there none-the-less. It's your choice to be by them and support them so you can see where that gets you in the long run [assuming you two even make it that far] or give it up and decide to NOT wait around while they fix their life. Either way, you'll be the one looking back and wondering "what if...?"
Baby Let Me Love You Down: If your partner only seems to love you down in private and not show how they love you around their friends, then it's about that time to talk it out an find out where you two stand. It's one thing if you're not pro-PDA [Public Displays of Affection]. However, if all they seem to want to do is get to sexin' and won't do so much as take you out to a movie, then that's a serious problem...gotta wonder if you two are in a legitimate relationship or just friends with benefits.
Intimacy: Goes beyond what people say it does. It can range from holding hands to the full out naked shuffle. There are some couples that choose to not be intimate and that's fine, dandy, and splendid...but it does make up a segment of a relationship. So it is advised that you do occasionally hold their hand or kiss their cheek to let them know that you are aware of them...
Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Nah Boo.: THIS has to be the funniest/craftiest thing I've ever seen someone do. What happens is they tell the girl or guy I can't call you my girl/boyfriend because we're BEYOND that level or using titles and I feel like if I call you my boy/girlfriend, it'll downgrade how I actually feel about you boo. THAT right there is a straight up lie and no matter how sweet it might sound to the ears, you need to realize you're being played! Run away from that form of fcukery.
...I've observed A LOT of things in my past relationships, my friend’s relationships, and things of that nature. I know this was the longest note I've ever produced and kudos to those that read it through and through. These were just my thoughts of things. They're not about anyone...
xoxo,
Miss Nwoka
GREAT INSIGHT!!!
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